‘Why Do My Parents Hate Me’? Does it sound familiar? Of Course, it does! That is why you are here…
What Will I Learn?
- 1 4 Reasons Why Do My Parents Hate Me (with Solutions)
- 1.1 1. They push their values on you:
- 1.2 2. They call you names or talk down to you :
- 1.3 3. They pressurize you to perform:
- 1.4 4. They don’t approve your date/friends:
- 1.5 Three Common Signs of Toxic Parents
- 2 10 Effective Ways of Dealing with Toxic Parents
- 2.1 1. Explore your boundaries
- 2.2 2. Go for counseling
- 2.3 3. Make space for your emotions
- 2.4 4. Study about it:
- 2.5 5. Figure Out Your Needs Related to this Relationship:
- 2.6 6. Find Support from Somewhere:
- 2.7 7. Use Tactics to Divert the Toxic Conversation:
- 2.8 8. Recognize Traits that Easily Trap You:
- 2.9 9. Don’t Give in to Anger:
- 2.10 10. Don’t Normalize the Abusive Relationship:
- 3 FAQ – Frequently Asked Question On Why Do My Parents Hate Me
- 4 What Do You Do When Your Parents Hate You?
- 5 Why Do My Parents Treat Me Differently?
- 6 How Do You Make Your Parents Understand How You Feel?
- 7 What Is Middle Child Syndrome?
- 8 Conclusion:
So how much weight does this question holds?
The parent-child relationship is one of the most critical aspects of human development. The majority of our behaviors, values, and development and life choices depend upon it. As a kid, we learn everything from our parents. We seek their validation in whatever we are trying to accomplish.
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We look forward to their approval, which creates our sensibilities. We are very sensitive to our parents. Any change in their behavior can hurt us deeply.
However, when we grow up, things are different. We like to become more independent and began to seek their approval less. This can create many conflicts. As a young adult, peaceful co-existence with parents becomes a real challenge. It is the time when you can start wondering, ‘Why do my parents hate me’?
It is a universally accepted the truth that the foundation of the parent-child relationship is love. Can parent-child love be the biggest lie of humanity? Can parents and children hate each other? Let’s have a look and explore this issue thoroughly.
4 Reasons Why Do My Parents Hate Me (with Solutions)
1. They push their values on you:
The majority of the times, values are perceived as an inheritance. This is not true! The values of a parent and child can differ a lot. It is tough to accept the differences among close-knit relationships, but acceptance is the way of love. Parents often do not approve of dressing, religious views, or eating habits. They want their children to follow their lines of morality. It is tough to debate on this.
Both parents and children try to convince each other. Mostly it is a power struggle for parents. They try to have the upper hand on you by using different tactics. Parents can restrict your activities or force you to do something which is against your personal views.
Now, this situation makes it seem like the parents want to have their way, and they wouldn’t listen to you. They don’t love you the same way they used to do. At first, they bought candies and toys on your whim, but now they are changed! They don’t let you hang out whenever or wherever you want to. Does it mean they hate you? To answer this, we have to look for the reason behind their behavior.
Parents think that they are wiser than you, which is right most of the time. They want to pamper their children all the time! Parents want the best for you! (at least according to their mindset). Once they think something is right/wrong for you, they will do anything, even if it means imposing stuff on you.
What should you do?
- Be honest.
- Listen to them.
- Talk to them about your feelings.
- Tell them that you are not trying to change their beliefs.
- Ask them to respect your beliefs.
- Avoid specific topics with them.
- Realize that your opinions can change with time.
- Acknowledge that parents can change their opinions too.
2. They call you names or talk down to you :
Often, when a parent and child argue, the parent ends up yelling or calling names. This makes children sulk the most. Sometimes, name-calling can be very harsh. It can wreck your self-esteem. You are called a loser, a black-sheep, or merely a burden on them. What makes a parent act so mean towards their children?
Emotionally triggered parents stop thinking clearly. This is why you keep thinking why do my parents hate me. They can have anger issues. Parents are capable of saying what they don’t mean when angry. In some cases, they might need counseling.
What should you do?
- Ignore the insults.
- Don’t take it personally.
- When they are in a relaxed mood, tell them how much it hurts you.
3. They pressurize you to perform:
The expectations of parents are usually very high. They want their children to perform best. Always wanting them to win! They want them to do stuff that they weren’t able to do in life. This can lead them to a race of child performance. They will try to manage and make decisions on academic/ extracurricular/ professional aspects of their children’s’ lives. This can cause a lot of anxiety, especially when ‘nothing you do is enough’ according to their expectations.
There is a fine line between caring and too much caring. Too much caring can harm relationships. When parents worry a lot about the future of children, they start wanting to micro-manage their lives.
What should you do?
- Remain calm and composed.
- Know your argument.
- Be confident about yourself.
- Know your argument and present it appropriately.
4. They don’t approve your date/friends:
Parents often try to filter out people from the lives of their children. They want to see and know with whom their child interacts. If they don’t like their child’s date or friends circle, they can become very nagging. They can force their children to abandon important people in their lives. Now the question arises, whether they are actually trying to protect us, or is it just their insecurity?
Parents fear their child’s budding sexuality. This can be due to religion or culture. They try to confine their children due to this fear socially. Parents don’t think ( most of the time) that their children are adults to decide for themselves.
What should you do?
- Hear them out. Listen to their points.
- Tell them what they need to know.
- Be honest with both sides.
- Try to bond them through interaction.
Some other common reasons that make you think: ‘why my parents hate me’?
- They are partial to your siblings.
- Your parents compare you with other children.
- They don’t forgive your mistakes easily.
When is it problematic?
Parents are very lovable beings. Their intentions are pure most of the time. What we need to understand is that sometimes, their love is not UNCONDITIONAL. If your relationship with them is conditional for the majority of the time, then that’s a red flag. Toxic parents do exist, and there is no denying to it. The following are the signs that your parent(s) are toxic, and the dynamic of your relationship is not situational.
Three Common Signs of Toxic Parents
- They are overly-critical all the time.
- Toxic Parents always blame you even for the stuff that’s not your responsibility.
- They emotionally manipulate you
- Toxic Parents try to hurt you intentionally to inflict pain.
- They blackmail you of dire consequences.
- Toxic Parents fail to provide security.
- They make toxic jokes at your expense.
- Toxic Parents don’t allow you to express your feelings.
- They are selfish and self-absorbed.
10 Effective Ways of Dealing with Toxic Parents
Here are some tips for dealing with toxic parents if you identify one:
1. Explore your boundaries
You need to learn about healthy boundaries of a relationship. Try to make them loud and clear. Be aware of your personal dos’ and don’ts.’
2. Go for counseling
Past traumas can lead you to deeper mental issues. You might need some counseling to make peace with your own emotions. Clarity of mind is essential for making decisions.
3. Make space for your emotions
Making space for your emotions can allow you to make different choices. Challenging emotions is vital for dealing with painful experiences of line. Balanced emotions are key to moving forward.
4. Study about it:
Studying behavioral patterns and signs of a toxic relationship are the easiest ways of self-help. It can help us to understand the complexity of the situation. It is essential to be aware, so we can take a step towards fixing it.
5. Figure Out Your Needs Related to this Relationship:
There are some things which are more important in a relationship than love. Respect is the most crucial aspect of any relationship. Children often seek validation from their parents, make your needs, and wants clear and act accordingly. Outcomes are highly dependent on the way you act.
6. Find Support from Somewhere:
Support is essential when we are facing difficult situations. We need a good listener to hear out our problems. Support can reduce depression and stress. Therefore, support is even more crucial when you are thinking why do my parents hate me?
7. Use Tactics to Divert the Toxic Conversation:
You should be well-equipped with diverting the negative conversation. Avoid too many discussions with them. Limit your views to yourself. Don’t talk back even if they provoke you.
8. Recognize Traits that Easily Trap You:
It can help you to understand what leads you into an emotional trap. Recognition is important to tackle manipulation. You can easily counter it, once you are aware.
9. Don’t Give in to Anger:
Feeling angry is a normal thing. Acting upon anger can have its consequences. Anger can make us impulsive and irrational. It can take away our sanity. But anger does not need to be suppressed either. Try to remain composed when angry. Do not lose your chill.
10. Don’t Normalize the Abusive Relationship:
Never think that abuse is a part of the relationship. Remember that abuse never comes out of love. Do not blame yourself. Avoid thinking that you deserve it. Maintain your self-respect. Avoid thinking that abuse was “heat of the moment” only.
FAQ – Frequently Asked Question On Why Do My Parents Hate Me
What Do You Do When Your Parents Hate You?
Remain calm, Find out how to accept the situation, Do not retaliate, Look to your own future with hope, Believe in yourself, Talk to someone you trust, and Look after yourself.
Why Do My Parents Treat Me Differently?
The more the qualities and personality of brothers and sisters vary, the more their parents take care of them in a different way. A different driver of parenting is, obviously, age of the child, but while age group and personality play an important part in why one kid gets more from a mother and father than other, above and beyond these are matters of parental stress.
How Do You Make Your Parents Understand How You Feel?
Explain your situation to your parents, Be honest, Try to understand your parents point of view, try not to argue with them, Share the good things, too with your parents.
What Is Middle Child Syndrome?
Middle Child Syndrome Is the Birth Order and Personality. The Science Behind MCS (Middle child syndrome) is the faith that mid children mean middle number kids are ignored, excluded, or perhaps even outright abandoned and neglected as a result of their birth sequence.
So, this is all we have when it comes to why do my parents hate me for now. Let us know in our comments section below about your own thoughts and opinions about the topic.